I don't know if I ever get used to this whole divorce thing on Christmas or Thanksgiving. More Christmas I think. I just want to spend all day with my kids playing games, watching movies or whatever our fancy..
We started along time ago where I would just let the kids split the day between myself and Ram on the holidays. I didn't want them to feel deprived but also I hoped he would do the same on his holidays and I wouldn't be left not having them either. So last year Christmas was a mess. He wasn't very nice to me or some of the kids. And 3 kids stayed with me for Christmas and 2 went with him even though it was his year. But then threw a fit about wanting the kids all night too. So with Thanksgiving and Christmas this year in the back of my head I thought hmm I could act like him they are mine for the holidays. But I knew better. It wasn't fair to the kids and it would so backfire on me next year. Thanksgiving he didn't even ask for the kids to come over. I am not sure he even mentioned it to them. He was newly married and I am not sure if that is why or not.
The nice thing about our family traditions if we do most of our stuff on Christmas Eve so splitting the day isn't too bad other then not seeing them. Eve for some reason this year was so worried about when they were going to go. Especially when it snowed about not being able to go if it was still ice on the roads. I explained if there was we wouldn't go. If he wanted to come here that was fine. But I knew the roads would clear it's Texas right.. Every year I help them get gifts for him and his parents and Aunts and Uncles. Ok this is me being just pathetic but does he even appreciate it I don't know. I have been doing this for 10 years now. Never said a word. The kids have said things about me giving them money to buy my gifts and I give them money to buy his too. Why doesn't he give them money to buy my gifts? That I can't answer. My dad used to give us money after they first divorced if I remember right to buy my mom something.
I know I am rambling on..just some things to get off my chest. So for some reason this year is harder I don't know why. I signed up to work tonight at 11pm. Thought I could spend more time with them during the day and he could have them all night. However that didn't work. So we opened Santa early this morning.
Did you know kids were texting each other about getting up at 4:30 this morning. These are teenagers that were saying hey are you up opening presents? Malcolm, Alex, and Sebastian were ready at 5:30. I said no 6 am is the earliest. Don't you know at that time on the dot they were in my room with all their cell phones lit up to light up the room. Eve was in my bed sleeping too and she was turn it off. I simply said hey pull the covers over your head like me.. That however didn't last very long so up we went.
I was really concerned about Malcolm and Cole's things they got from Santa especially Malcolm. There wasn't a whole lot there. They both new that theirs wasn't going to be a lot. Since money was tight I explained that I needed to do more for the little ones. They were both troopers. If they didn't like it they covered up well. But as I watched Malcolm I could kinda see his face. I knew it bothered him a little. His collection of items was cologne, a xbox game, art kit,basketball, book light, book, and a cd. So nothing too big. It really broke my heart. And he was so good never letting on any disapointment. But he has this way of hitting his foot I can't explain it I have seen it enough. Cole was a little better I found an mp3 player, art set, watch,book, Scrabble game, and a cd. The rest of the kids did pretty good. Eve is into being real girly so believe it or not it's cheaper to shop for a teenage girl than a teenage boy. Make-up, straighten iron, game, book, her own nerf gun, perfume. I think all her stuff cost less then what I spent on Cole or Malcolm.
Since we woke up so early we finished opening gifts early. It was still dark when we finished. Yeah no kidding...Sebastian wanted to go ride his scooter he got in the dark and snow and ice. Was not happy when I veto that idea. He had to settle for playing a board game instead. They did go out and spend some time in the snow playing on sleds. Finally being put to good use in stead of sitting in the attic. You can tell who likes the cold and who doesn't though. Eve and Alex are so not cold weather people especially when you are getting wet. I made French toast for breakfast usually it is pancakes but I forgot to make sure there was enough mix..oops! More games were played and then off to see Alvin and the chipmunks the sequal(sp). It was a cute movie. They all absolutely loved it. After that I took them on over to their granny and popo (their dad's parents house). I drove around debated on seeing another movie but nothing I really wanted to see. So home I went.
I will pick them up in 4 more hours now. I have to say I am so thankful for just having the children I do. Even if I have to share them on the holidays. They are amazing kids. They do get on my nerves from time to time but how blessed I am to have them. I know as much as I don't like the situation I am better off then alot of other people with visitations around the holidays. I have someone at work that I saw on Tuesday morning that found out Monday from a judge in New York that her ex would be there to pick up her son on Wednesday and would get him for the holidays. Her little boy is 6 years old. She was so scared because of his family connections to the mafia out there and his relatives that live in Italy that she may never see her son again. She was in tears. So all things considering this is not bad. Just lonely at times. I guess you get used to having a house full of noise that when it is quiet it is weird and hard at times. I need my breaks from my kids at times but too much silence stinks!
I should be getting list together for Malcolm's and Cole's camps they are going to. Malcolm is going to mountain man and Cole is going to his first pole vaulting camp. They are both excited. I think Cole is a little nervous. It is a sleep over camp in Fort Worth where all they will be doing is working on pole vaulting and the skills for it. Still not sure what all either boy needs to bring other than Malcolm needs lots of warm clothes.
Ok enough of the pity party for me.. I have plenty I need to do around the house I guess I need to get busy.
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