New inspirations.

I decided I needed to go to the doctor today and get something anything to help me through everything I am dealing with. I never want to admit defeat. But this time I am so close to defeat that I have to have something to help me fight.Or shall I say keep my head on straight without being all emotional..Yeah I know I can be quite stubborn.
However I am learning from this.

Tonight Alex had a hard time deciding whether to go to his dad's tonight or wait until July 4th. He had a hard time knowing that if he left tonight he would be with me tomorrow for fireworks but then not again for a week. After talking to my Doctor today she helped me grasp things in a new way. She mentioned that maybe Alex was scared his dad was going to move on with life and that is why he is so angry at the world and wants so badly for his dad's attention. He is worried his dad is going to have more children which they have said they will. And forget about him. I thought about this and on the way home asked Cole and Eve since we had been talking about their dad having kids prior to the doctor appointment. Which Eve is worried about herself. They both agreed this could very well be the issue. My dr. simply said keep listening to them. Let them know you are there no matter what..
So when Alex was struggling I simply said I won't get my feelings hurt if you want to go tonight. I can finish gathering your things tomorrow and after the fireworks you can take it back to your dad's house. The whole time my heart breaking a little with this whole idea. But made me glad that I called in sick yesterday and spent sometime quality time on the trampoline just him and me talking.

So the night ended with me, Malcolm and his girlfriend going for ice cream. Just what I needed for me trying to lose weight..oh well...

Hoping all goes well.

Side note: If you show up at our house early evening you will find us doing our scripture and night prayer then. What I found is that when I work nights leaving it to the kids to remember takes me out of that special experience. So we have started either doing it early evening or late afternoon. FHE too. It's whenever I know that we can all be together. It seems to be working out. A little strange to the visitors we have to be sitting in on FHE or scripture or prayer at that time of day. But the kids seem to appreciate it too. Fingers crossed I keep it up. Oh and 21 verses in Mosiah at 3 o'clock in the afternoon. Not too bad. At least I know they are all awake..:)