Crazy Days!

I am trying to have a new outlook on life..To be happy even during the difficult times. I have even taken a different approach when dealing with the ex. So this is how I am doing it. First it started with the stupid glasses situation and instead of calling and reaching through the phone to knock him upside his head I did absolutely NOTHING!! Can you imagine?? Then this week first thing Monday morning I get a not so nice text wanting to know why he was being told by Cole that they couldn't go to his house this weekend. I reminded him very nicely that we spoke of this in an email months ago due to school starting and needing to finish up school shopping they would not come. He continued his rant.. So instead of coming back at him I simply asked "Are you having a bad day?" he replied with "I never have bad days, the last time I had a any bad days you were around for those." hmm I wasn't sure if that was a blow to me or him saying I helped him through it.. I was pretty sure it was me causing it was what he was saying. So I again left that alone.. He eventually gave up poking at me. HE GAVE UP and left me alone..

I placed this on facebook...
no matter how much you bate me I will NOT fight with you. And you won't ruin my day.I will keep smiling!

So this is my new motto! Not just for him but anyone I am dealing with. Doing fairly well with him now the rest of the world!


There are somethings I am just totally stuggling with. This whole new Stepmom for the kids. I won't say I am jealous but it's things like I have offered for the last year to help Eve with Volleyball. She kept saying she wasn't playing. Then she gets into Athletics and she is trying out. I was informed that her stepmom offered to help. Hmm ok.. She decided to take her up on her offer instead of me..
So why does this bother me? Should it? Really come on. But it did. I guess sometimes in all the madness of the days and weeks of me working 2 jobs I don't feel like I get to spend fun time with them or that they really need me anymore. Yes I know they are teenagers. But what do you think when they want to still go to their dad's house even though he is working and she is the only one there when they could spend time with me? Stupid I know so when Eve told me this is was all I could do not to cry my eyes out. Maybe I just needed a good cry it has been a stressful week. Still working on this hopefully soon I won't feel so insecure..

Today was crazy busy. The morning started out getting up at 6:30 or so to take Cole to school by 8am to escort/drive him and some buddies around to do fundraising.. We did that off and on until 1pm. Now I say off and on. I would drop them off in a neighborhood then come back in 30 minutes. So I would run an errand like pick up the lil boys and my nieces and run them to splash day. Mow half the yard. YES half the front yard. It does look absolutely INSANE! Go home clean the house...then back to get them. Finally after finishing up with this we ran to go shopping for a quick trip to Target before heading for Aidan's birthday cake and ice cream. We were able to get Target done in record time 30 minutes and I still managed to spend a fortune. After Aidan's birthday we headed back out shopping.( who knew socks, underwear, and undershirts cost so dang much!) We ran and dropped Malcolm in Mansfield to prepare for Band night and then ran to North Arlington to pay a bill and talk about old memories of their childhood as we past the apartments we lived in when Sebastian was born that are now a field. Then back to south Arlington to get Mallory and to Malcolm's band night. Left there went home and changed to head to work. Yes, All this today.

Band night was great. It will be another good season of Marching. Tonight we actually won a raffle.A free t-shirt which I gave to Mallory. It was much easier than listening to fighting plus I thought she might like the shirt since she came to watch Malcolm.

Amongst all the busy times we had a good talk this evening as we passed by all the places that they had memories of from the park we frequented to their old elementry school. We talked about things that happened. People they knew. More like I just listened and Eve and Cole talked and shared memories with Sebastian. We had a similar conversation Cole, Eve and Malcolm and I about life. Where Eve thought life had been just awful for her. Today as she talked she simply said.. you know I have had a good life. I just didn't think about all the good stuff.
That made me feel much better.

Well the night is almost over. I have written a little as I could. Tonight has made me really think about things. We had a gentlemen come in with Cancer. (terminal)At the last minute as he was dying at home the family decided they couldn't do it and sent him to us. Poor guy. Initially he had tons of family here who went in and took pictures then left. And left him here by himself. Esentially to be in pain (severe)and die by himself. It was like they took their pictures and were good. But nobody stayed to make sure he was good.. Puts what you do for your family and friends into perspective..