Sunday morining came and with empty belly's , headache but determination to be in the right mind for fasting for the answers and the peace our family so badly needed.
Since my brother Taylor and his family have moved into our ward I love sitting in the pew in front or behind them. During the meeting at some point we usually end up with one or more of the kids with us. Which is okay it is kinda a sweet moment to watch my kids with them and remember them being that small. This week. I looked down the pew to see in the row in order Sebastian (13), Carter(4), Cole (18), Alex (15), Eve,(17), McKayla (7) everyone of them coloring. I guess I should have been a little upset that my kids were not listening but it was actually too cute to be mad. I wish I could have taken a picture of them. It was towards the very end. After the meeting was over I asked Cole if he would like the Easter bunny to bring him coloring books for Easter he smiled really big and said YES! And goes on to tell me where to buy them. And the type of special crayons to get.
We had break the fast after church which was nice. No cooking dinner at home even better. After the kids dropped me off at home the kids went on to their dads to see their Uncle who was in town. Usually this is hard for me. But not this time.
On Monday I took Malcolm and Eve to the mall. Eve was to help me pick out my new glasses I will be wearing for now on and Malcolm needed to go buy cologne. As we were leaving Eve was in one of her goofy moods. Malcolm says " I don't know if I like her better when she is yelling she has a headache and be quiet or when she is so weird and goofy. " and starts laughing. And they both walk off and I watch as Eve grabs his arm and lays her head on it as they walk. Such a sweet picture. Not one I get of the two of them often.
Today Cole and I went to get his Physical for his mission. This is what has been a really crazy weird idea that my child will be leaving for 2 years. I have excited and happy but just never thought he would be old enough. We went to lunch together and enjoyed some really special mom/son time together. I will take all I can get right now.
This afternoon I was able to watch my nephew Owen who is 2 while his mom went to run errands. It was alot of fun to watch him go between my boys to see who was doing what and wanting to be a part of what they are were doing. He would open Malcolm's door and peek in stay for a minute than leave. A little later He went outside to play ball with Sebastian. Having that time with cousins no matter what the age is fun to watch the interactions with each other and see the bonds being built. But it is funnier to see Owen try and keep all the boys straight. Between Cole, Alex, Sebastian all being close to the same height and looks. He gets so confused. Poor guy.
I have been thinking today about the peace I have had and not really realized it. I haven't been worrying about my sickness and whatever is wrong with my back. Yes it hurts at times and I don't always feel good but I am calm. I know whatever is wrong my family will be okay. That is what I was so worried about is the idea of it being something that I wouldn't be around to take care of them. But after the fast I feel a calm that I can't even explain. Other than I am not crying myself to sleep at night. Or staying up worrying about the what ifs.
The power of fasting and prayer is an amazing thing. Especially when you have the faith to trust the Lord will take care of everything.
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