Storm before the Calm

I have been struggling with health problems the last couple of months that have really taken a toll on myself and my family. The news just seemed to be getting worse not better and my faith seemed be shaking. I tried to keep it to myself but that didn't always work very well.

My kids I know could see the stress building. I was starting to look sicker and feel sicker and the energy no matter how hard I tried was disappearing. After getting some not so good news and being referred to another specialist I lost it. I had seen on my MRI that it looked like there was some possible issues. And there was. I cried most of the week. I finally sat down and wrote and e-mail to my siblings and my parents and all my adult nephews and nieces. Explained what was going on and asking for a family fast. 

I don't do well fasting. We kneeled down for family prayer Saturday night and Cole started our family fast without telling anyone he was doing it. But it was nice to see the faith he had to start it. I had been crying for almost a week non-stop. I really couldn't say why other than just being overwhelmed with the situation. Saturday I was driving back from Dallas and the whole drive back tears just fell down my face in a constant flow. I was scared by the idea of tumors that had been found in my vertebrae. That it could be something very serious. Then what?  How do I tell my kids? What would be the outcome? Every outcome possible raced through my head all the time usually the bad more than the good. Especially after being an Oncology nurse I have seen too many things. 

Saturday night was the General Conference Womens broadcast and from the very first song being sung by primary girls I was in tears again. But by the end I felt like Pres. Erying was speaking to me. 

Now to Pray and Fast for the answers and peace I was needing.