I can ask all day long... How was your day? Are you doing okay with everything going on?
The usual response is fine, yeah... Come on give me something a nibble of something...
I am truly grateful they have siblings but dang..
Some of my kids are more talkative than others. But with the use of Twitter, Facebook, Snapchat, instagram. I have now found my ways of figuring out what is going on and if I should be probing more. I check every day. Lately more than once a day. Today when I checked it made me realize how important these sources are.
Several days ago I got a call from someone from church. She was checking on us after she found out police were at our house. I think one of my kids said they got into a fight with their dad over something.. and made up something. Problem was the people knew it wasn't true. When I didn't answer the phone she ran over to our house and dropped a cake off. It seems like the police were there for so long. But maybe only hour and half or so taking reports etc. By the time she got to the house everyone was gone except M. It was sweet of her to check on us but I was amazed at how fast word spread to others. Frankly this scares me! How do you keep the privacy of someone who has been a victim when it is changing their whole world and people are going to ask questions.
Life is changing very quickly at our house. From the outside looking in we seem pretty normal. But when you get to the nitty gritty people are struggling to find their source to vent, or find peace.
ASJ writes music, listens, sings. SJ plays the piano, reads his scriptures, and binge watches tv.
M- he reads, plays video games and gets real quiet, almost secluded. E she writes, sleeps and watches movies. C- wow after him being gone for 2 years I am not real sure anymore. Now he is off at school. My older 3 is harder to know what there outlet is. Mine? Driving, music and now this.. Yesterday I listened to soundtracks of disney movies all day at work. Today I was trying to figure out a song that gets me upbeat so I turned on Cyndy lauper.. Yep I just dated myself but I have been listening to her for a couple of hours.
" Everything might look picture perfect but nothing ever is"
"nothing seems right , right now"
"Piano is my outlet"
"creating is my peace"
"Sometimes the Lord allows us to go through trials to lighten burdens of others later."
At times I wish I could close my eyes and see the end result of this current struggle. See that justice is given out. I pray the recent choices of others don't permantly take away my once talkative, friend to all, loving, outgoing child/young adult. If I could only see that we survive and become much stronger for this it would be so much easier. I guess this is where faith and pure stubborness to let evil win comes in. How do you help those around you be strong when you just want to crawl in a corner and cry at times? All my adult life it seems that it's not questioned about my strength to deal with trials but this one is truly kicking my butt.
I miss the laughter that once filled my house..
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