As a mom I always tend to worry about my kids. I do not think that will ever change no matter how old they become. I sent Asj and Sj on a road trip with their Youth leaders from Church. They left on a Friday night and headed out to Utah.
At the same time this week Eve went on vacation with her dad. Cole is off at school and Malcolm went into the MTC. I went from having a house full to just me and the dog. I think the dog felt as lost as I did.
I initially thought " good I can get some things done" Yeah that lasted a little bit then I was done. I had the whole week off and didn't want to spend it dejunking the whole house. In hindsight I probably should have.
I decided to concentrate on myself. This for whatever reason is a hard one for me to do.
So I made a commitment to start taking better care of myself. Seriously, I really want to be around for my kids as gown ups. I want to see their kids grow up and so on. That meant I needed to focus on me. Well for the last 23 years or so I have been focused on making sure I am the best mom I can be and take care of my kids. I made mistakes as a mom and we have had our moments in the ER.. way too many if you ask me! I wouldn't change a moment for anything.
Life hasn't been easy but as I look back it has made my kids who they are and me who I am. However, I also realize I should have spent some of that time taking better care of myself. After thinking about all of this I met with a Nutritionist and set a schedule of getting myself back to the healthy skinny person inside me. Oh how this is going to be a long road but it will definitely be worth it. I spent time with a couple of good friends this last week just catching up. I started working out. Oh heavens can I just say that I loved it! But I paid for it later. I still can barely squat due to my Quads. lol But most of all I think I found peace. Peace I have been wanting and needing for a long time. This peace that you know can only come from one place.
The final thing that just brought my week to a full circle of peace was Malcolm's first letter home from the MTC. He found HIS peace! His letter to me spoke about the peace Heavenly Father promised him if he would continue to follow the gospel and serve a mission he would give him the peace he was longing for. He found that this last week. That brought such peace to this momma's heart that no words would ever be able to express.
So, as I move on to this chapter in life of taking better care of myself I still stay completely focused on being the best mom I can be for my kids and taking care of them but understanding now that I have to take care of myself to be that mom for them.
by the way everyone made it home safely from their trips.. That helped with the peace as well.
No comments:
Post a Comment