Sebastian gets home from Cub camp tonight and sees me in my scrubs and sits down next to me on the couch and sigh the biggest sigh you have ever heard from a 9 year old. "Mommy why do you always leave me?" Wow can we say my heart sank.. Honey I'm not leaving you. I have to go to work. I will be back in the morning. "Mommy you always leave to go to work." This is where working totally stinks to high heaven. Maybe it's because with my older ones when they were younger I was still in school and then I worked days so for them I work days coming out of nursing school. So they didn't notice me being gone as much. Since they were at school. But I felt I was missing more.Then the last year and half my other job was more kid friendly. I am grateful for it because it gave me a lot of freedom to be with my kids.

Now reality hits that there are going to be days that on school nights I won't be home to tuck them in. And when it comes to football season I won't work alot of weekends to make sure I can be there for the sports and games for them. So there is a good and bad with that.

Where do you find that line. This week has been tougher to find time with my younger boys. Since they have been at cub camp and I come home from work and sleep most of the day doing 4 back to back.

Sebastian has been having bad dreams about not having any friends when he gets to Intermediate school. Which he still has another year. Maybe it is him really being scared about his new school this year. The whole idea of him not having friends is far from his reality. Out of all of my kids this kid is friends with absolutely everyone..But I have been worried about him making friends at the new school.Not that he doesn't know how to make them but he is used to being the big man on campus and now new school, new people , new teachers. Many prayers will be going up this year. More than usual.

Malcolm and Cole are both working on badges for Scouts. I thought cool they both picked projects and I figured YES! I get these things done. Yeah whatever. Malcolm's was to clean out the front flower beds. Cole's was to clean his room and then change rooms with the smaller boys. Well, I have been waiting. Malcolm has started he took the round up to kill the weeds and grass that didn't belong there and added to the grass in the cracks of the driveway. Well, it said to give it 6 hours. It has now been 6 days. Then it was there are ants in the flower beds I gave him ant bait to put out. So he does that and tells me that it is very difficult to get the grass up. So combined with the extremely hot weather here and his procrastination I am sure my neighbors are hating me about now. If you were drive up to my house you would see a fairly green yard and this wonderful brown flower bed. It looks absolutely horrible.

It seems this summer may be longer and more boring as Malcolm has explained because there is NOTHING to do. What? He would be miserable if I canceled the cable if I was so in love with it. No really I guess I have made them wait long enough with no video system since it has been broken for months. So time to figure it out.
Maybe I can bribe these people to get these projects done with a system.HMMMM