There are times when I realize just how hard it is for me to work nights away from my kids.And it especially hits home when the realization hits on how hard it is with my kids too. Some say it doesn't bother them others get upset on the phone when I am headed to work.
I was thinking about this tonight on my way to work. Alex was upset about something he wouldn't really say. He said he couldn't think straight and it was bedtime and he wasn't sure he could sleep. In his voice you could hear as he got more upset as we talked. Eventually it was about me being at work and not with him last night. Which I felt it. I really did. I wanted to be there to check on him during the night. To check on all of them as I always do before I go to sleep. Even if I had checked on them before I went into my room. Before I physically slept I will go check one last time.
I got called in early tonight so I was scrambling to get lunches made, dinner made, dinner cleaned up. Laundry done if need be. And I sat down for a few minutes to just gather in my children. Sebastian was in a bad mood.So I had him come sit with me for a few minutes.He acted mad for a minute then just sat there and got up just fine.
As we read scriptures and had prayer this moment kept hitting me in the head. We read
1 Nephi 3:7
And it came to pass that I, Nephi, said unto my father: I will go and do the things which the Lord hath commanded, for I know that the Lord giveth no commandments unto the children of men, save he shall prepare a way for them that they may accomplish the thing which he commandeth them.
We talked about what it meant and how it dealt with us in our lives. I still haven't figured out why it was weighing on my mind so much. Maybe it will come to me with more sleep.
I will continue later.. I need to get back to work. I just needed to write this.
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