Lesson learned

As we grow up we are told you can't judge a book by its cover. This is just as true as an adult. Have you ever really thought about it truly? I hear it I have said it but until tonight I really haven't felt it in my heart.

We lost a patient on Friday. We all knew that it was a possibility but were truly hoping it wouldn't happen. Tonight several of us went to the viewing to show our support. We were to be quite honest surprised that someone had put it together for him. He had no family and very few friends. But you know I think Heavenly Father places people in our lives to be there for us and vice versa us for someone else. It may not be an easy relationship whether family, or friend or by stander. Hugh was lucky enough to have that person in his life.

Hugh is this book you definitely couldn't judge by it's cover. If you had seen him on the street you would have thought he was person who couldn't take care of himself, wasn't very smart among other things. And he wouldn't tell you different either. Many of the nurses found it difficult to go and take care of him. He wasn't easy by any means in fact he and I butted heads on occasion. But you learn what makes him tick. But I still never really knew who he was. His living arrangements were well less than desirable. Many of my patients are. I will say that I had those misperceptions of him myself. I never realized who this man was the man he didn't want anyone to see. He kept to himself but longed to be loved and not be alone. He had a dog that wouldn't leave his side.Nor would he leave hers.
God looked at him and sent him a friend someone who wouldn't judge him no matter what. Someone to take on his fight now he is gone. I met her tonight. Monica wasn't his family just a friend. She fought for him in the hospital to make his wishes known. She promised him to take care of things after he was gone. She didn't have to do this. She didn't have to take her time from her family to help him. But she did.

We learned tonight more about who he was. Who he is. This someone not 10 years ago had a good job working with American Airlines. He designed their reservation system before their was Internet. But had a bad turn and lost his job. After his money ran out he lost his huge house, his wife left him and he ended up with nothing not even his self esteem. That is the man I found this last year since I started seeing him. It is amazing what loosing everything will do to someone. People gathered tonight to pay their respects to whoever put the viewing and funeral together. Several that worked with him at American, his pastor, and a couple of people from his sunday school class. To listen to stories of a man who we didn't see. Every once in a while you would maybe get a small glimpse of who he was but it was almost like he realized it and pulled it back.

Since I started nursing I am constantly amazed at the lessons Heavenly Father has taught me and is still teaching me.On my way home from the viewing I started to think about visits to his house and conversations we had and wonder why I didn't try harder to see this man he was. I was too quick to judge the book or the man. Don't get me wrong I liked Hugh but never truly let myself know him. Because I judged him first.
We all do it and I know I am guilty of it. But tonight Heavenly Father touched my heart through those who came out to see this man who wasn't easy to love they said. But each one of them played a special part in his life. Especially his friend Monica. I hope that I am lucky enough to have a friend like that when I need one.
Lesson learned.