This was written before I got the internet up and running this morning.So here it is.


Last night I just didn’t find myself sleeping very well. I am not sure if it had to do with the Malcolm’s procedure or not. I found myself awake at 2:04 am and not knowing why and couldn’t go back to sleep. Even though my alarm was set for 4:45. Hmmm. I guess at some point I fell back asleep.

I woke up and got out of bed around 5am. Woke Eve up and began to gather everything together. Made lunches for 4 kids. Got ready, ran to CVS to buy 2 cereal boxes and cat food. Can’t have starving cats you know. The cereal boxes? No, not for the kids to eat. The kids (alex and Sebastian) needed it for literacy day. They do a dominoe effect and it feeds the needy.

When Malcolm and I left the house it was a little after 6am this morning. I was so not like himself. He was dying of thirst and wasn’t liking it. Which I totally understand. He drinks water like I do all the time. He stayed in a mood (pouty)sp? Until we got up to the waiting room. He found an old friend the super Nintendo. Yes…. He used to have this system when he was little…. So that occupied him for a little bit.

Jill the nurse came and got us around 7am. We went back to holding area and they did their routine of getting him ready which included a lovely gown that looked like a mini skirt. Hehehe. Ok I think we both thought we were in the clear. I hadn’t mentioned the surgery for awhile to Ramesus and Malcolm didn’t want him to come. We had decided not to say anything and pray he would forget. Yeah not so much… We were sitting there and all of a sudden in walks a nurse with Ramesus. My heart just sank. So did Malcolm’s you could see it on his face. I couldn’t say to much because of the anestiastology was in there. So I just look at him and said Malcolm doesn’t want you here. I mouthed it. But he looked at me like I don’t care. So after the doctor left I asked Malcolm do you want me to handle this? He said yes.. So I walked over to him and quietly asked him to leave that Malcolm doesn’t want him here. Well he looked at me and said he’s a child and he will do whatever he wants as the parent. What parent. When was the last time you called him or acted like a father? I said fine wait in the waiting room but not in here.

After he left I went and stood next to Malcolm and said I am sorry I can make him leave here but he won’t leave the hospital. Malcolm said ok and seemed relieved. The nurse asked if there was anything she needed to be aware of. Malcolm explained that he didn’t want him here. She asked if she needed to know something. I explained briefly things had happened years ago and Malcolm wasn’t comfortable with him here. As far as I am concerned I want Malcolm to be as comfortable as possible. It is all about him today. Not the ego of his dad. Jill (nurse) said that if there became a problem she would call security. Oh I hope it doesn’t come to that. I did have a night mare a couple of night ago about that. Anyways, Dr. Z came in and started to explain things and Ramesus Aunt Marsha who works in the lab here came in . Hmmm. She was sweet. Gave me a hug. I didn’t recognize her at first. She leaned in and said ya’ll don’t get into a fight today ok. I explained that Malcolm didn’t feel comfortable with his dad here she said she understood.

Well, Malcolm had a hard time with the Iv being put in. It hurt more than normal. He was getting a little more comfortable and all the people that work here were being so great. They gave him his versed (med to make him get drowsy) and he quickly started to yawn and say things were getting fuzzy. I told him I loved him and he gave me the hand sign he always does. Then he informed the nurses that he yawns all the time and it wasn’t the medicine. Then within a minute or so he was pretty out of it. They rolled him out.

Man that was hard to watch your baby be rolled away like that. I now had to deal with Ramesus and the stress of him on top of all of this. I went into the bathroom and said a little prayer. Please Lord help me to be patient and be able to handle whatever he throws at me with dignity. His mom was here too. They both just get under my skin. It is a since of intittlement they feel with my kids. Oh and she smackes her stinking gum every second. It drives me crazy. They took over the tv so I am now having to listen to espn. Yeah me. I was hoping to be able to connect to the internet here. I can’t figure out or remember how Malcolm did it the last time he was here. Darn it. I am hoping when Michelle get here Dalton can help me figure it out and I can post this.

Cole is so worried about his brother. Yesterday he took his phone to school and was texting Malcolm asking him if he was ok. Then this morning he text me so what is happening… I can tell they were all nervous but more so Cole. I guess that is what happens when one of your best friend is having something this big done. It is stressful. I didn’t think about letting him come today. I guess I could have. But I wasn’t sure how things go with kids being brought. Speaking of Cole he just text asking me to let him know if anything went wrong. I reassured him that everything would be ok.

9:00am They just called and said he was asleep now with the help of medicine. He was doing fine and Dr. Z was putting in the catheters.

9:45 Malcolm is still doing good. It took them more medicine then they thought to get his heart beating fast. How crazy is that. But they are starting the mapping process.