Christmas Eve

Today has had it's blessings and it's difficult times. This morning Cole and I got out early to run some errands. It was good for us to get out by ourselves and be able to talk. He explained he was feeling nervous. What child feels nervous on Christmas Eve. Anxious yes, nervous no. We talked some more and he explained he didn't know why but he thought it had to do with feeling like something big was going to happen. I asked good or bad. He didn't know he thought good. Maybe he was thinking about christmas presents. I didn't know. But lets just say this made me a little nervous too.

We carried on and grabbed some groceries and he bought gum, smart water and syrup. Syrup yes. He was so proud of it too. We needed more syrup so he decided he would buy it for me. He knew I normally buy mrs. buttersworth.(it is in giant size at costco cheap) but explained to me that she was just too expensive and this microwavable stuff looked cool. It was so sweet.

After we did what we needed to we came home and started getting ready for Christmas eve. It seems that every year opening gifts get to be earlier and earlier. Let me explain. We open all our gifts from each other on Christmas Eve. My parents did this with us and it was a tradition I wanted to carry on. Then Santa is seen on Christmas morning. We did our normal Christmas eve meal/ snacks. Sliced ham, crackers, cheese, veggies, chips and dip and settled in to watch the GRINCH. We didn't manage to finish the movie before we open the gifts. Which was just fine for me.
They were so cute and funny when opening there gifts. Each one seem to have a favorite. At least they acted like it. I only got one crazy look from a child. It was Malcolm. I could have sworn he asked for socks. I know he did. But he swears he didn't. He needed them anyways why not wrap them right? Malcolm just gave this look like gee thanks. Cole got socks too and was more excited he did ask for them. They are lucky I got things straight in the first place. This year I did more board games type of thing for kids to have more family oriented things to do. This will help get away from the TV and Computer and XBOX. It worked.
Malcolm's favorite and the one he could tell it was a book just not sure which one. He held it tight until it was his turn. I bought this book at the church bookstore. The author was there and he signed it. That was too cool for him. I can't for the life of me remember the title. It is about how the ancient writtings in south America testify of Jesus Christ coming. It relates historical items to the book of mormon etc. Cole's I thought would be his xbox game but ended up being his scene it game. Eve's was the pink monopoly game. She was too excited. We didn't get a chance to play it tonight which upset her but we will be playing it tomorrow. Alex well hmmm it seemed to be the othello game. We played that several times tonight. Sebastian was his lincoln logs. So things went really well I was excited to see them be able to have something that made their Christmas especially when this year is a hard one for them.

We played Scene it until we had to go so I could take them to their Dad's house. Alex went to get his shoes on and sat on the stairs and cried. He says his eyes were sweating. But he was upset. Then Cole didn't cry but you could see it in his eyes. So as I was hugging Alex, Cole started in on the hug then the rest of the kids all gathered in on the hug it was a sweet moment. We had prayer and headed out.

I hate stopping for last minute things on Christmas Eve. I absolutely hate it. I found out about 6:00 tonight that my ex husband didn't do anything for their stockings. At our house that is where the really cool stuff is alot of times. It is like buried treasure. Candy, earphones etc. Just cool odds and ends stuff. He acted oblivious to it. Then he asked me to bring stuff. I didn't want them to not have something in their stockings. So I stopped at CVS to find the longest line in CVS history (at least for me) It was down one of the aisle going towards the pharmacy. SO I pulled Eve in and had her stand in line and went to try and shop for stocking stuff at CVS it was so picked over but found some things. Just enough to have them dig though and find things. Cole got things like trial size mouth wash, lotion, silly putty etc. Same with Alex.

On our way home things started to click in. How things were different not having everyone together. After we got home Malcolm approached me saying he felt like Cole does. He was upset he didn't go to protect them. I held him hugging him as he cried. I tried to explain to my 15 year old that sometimes life makes turns and all we can do is have faith that Heavenly Father is going to help us through it. That we may not understand it but i promised him everything would be ok. He still just cried. I did too. I wanted to go back and run and pick them up. I can't. I hurt more that I was worried something was going to happen and they were going to have to suffer through it and come home and I pick up the pieces like always. I pray that I am just being an over protective mom. I love my kids and I know I can't protect them from everything. We talked in the car about loving each other and showing it more. We have been having more conflict at home. I feel like it has been the stress of tonight coming on. Malcolm eventually was ok enough that he let go. I told him to go get on his knees and tell Heavenly Father how he felt and ask him to watch over his brothers. And to then have faith.
Sebastian didn't even feel like putting out cookies for Santa. He said his tummy hurt. Alex is like Sebastian's best friend and the same with Cole and Malcolm.All the kids decided to sleep in the same room tonight. They informed Malcolm that they wanted to sleep in his room. Eve and Sebastian are there now watching tv and Malcolm is downstairs. I thought I grab a minute put my thoughts out there and then let Santa come.
One thing that worried me is that Ramesus (ex-husband) said that they were sleeping at his house but Santa was coming to his parents house. I looked at him puzzled and said how is that going to work. He goes I have it covered we will leave santa cookies and milk at my house and he will deliver at my mom's and dad's. ?????
I tried to explain the whole point of christmas morning is having the kids come out in their PJ's and seeing their excitement on their face. Not getting them up changing their clothes driving 10 minutes to get to their presents. I think he is so dumbfounded with this whole idea. Even if they don't believe in Santa it takes the excitement out of the air. Especially since they are both getting bikes. Hopefully he changed his mind.

We are planning on going by my Aunt Shirley's house tomorrow to see her and my cousins. Eve made a comment about her being one of her favorite Aunts. It was too cute. It seems that the service they provided for her visiting with her at the hospital and the little time they spent with them before my Uncle James passed really brought them close to her. Which I am glad. I wish my Aunt Judy was closer to be able to build the same bond. She has been going through alot dealing with cancer that long distance is hard to help. So lots of prayer go out for both.

I better get going. Pictures will be posted as soon as I get them developed.