When is it that we turn in to that person who sees someone who is homeless and instead of the first instinct to help. You think are they really homeless or are they going to spend the money on beer?
I remember when I was oh so more innocent as a young adult I had a man who ate out of the dumpster behind my work. I felt so bad I would see him on a daily basis. The manager would yell at him to leave. One day I saw him and felt so overwelmed at how hungry he must be. I went back into my job and bought him food. You could never imagine the geniune look of gratitude this poor man had. I really don't care why they are there or if it was there fault I just felt for them.
I drive the poorest streets and areas in Fort Worth. I see some pretty bad things as far as houses etc. I have a new reality of those living on the edge barely making ends meet. Or sometimes not being able to.
Today I was driving to a patients house and took a wrong turn ended up needing to turn around. So as I was sitting at the light at I-30 and 8th street close to the hospital district I saw this man. He was sitting in the biter cold holding a sign "anything will help". Payday is tomorrow. So money is tight until then. I had some fabric Fleece I bought to put over Cole and Malcolm's window to keep the cold out and a couple of bucks. I sat there thinking and then waved him over. Asking if he could use a blanket I pulled out the fleece and then handed him a couple of dollars. This made me think about why I hesitated. I used to not. If I had it I would give it to them. I once had 24 bottles of sparkletts and it was dead summer and I handed the lady a couple of bottles.
As I thought about the years past I wondered if it was because of my life going so fast that I don't think about it as much.Or because I see it too much.
I didn't know but it made me think about talks my kids and I have had about helping others. The thing they remember most is when they were little I would sometimes take them to McDonalds before school and there would be a man sitting at McDonalds who was homeless. He had a dog and we would buy an extra something and pass it along. Or give him a few dollars. They remember that. They remember the look on his face.
Years later while talking to one of the moms in Girl scouts who deals with the homeless population I found out there was a homeless camp right behind the Mcdonalds.
She knew of the guy too. Why do I write this. I want to remember when I read this the looks the way it made me feel after wards not that I gave them something but how this time I hesitated and a year or so ago I wouldn't have.
I know alot of people say they choose it but I don't know I just know that if that was me in the biter cold and hungry I would hope someone else would stop and think and give me something.
Changing my ways in 2009.
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